Weight loss status: Currently at 183 pounds. Eating has been well, up and down. Today I did fairly well; not spectacular but a step in the right direction :-) I'm going to start riding my bike to work this week. Would have started today but it was raining, so I opted for the bus instead. Tomorrow I go to Zurich for my class instead of going to PSI, so I'm planning to start on Wednesday. I'll probably go one or two days a week at first and then hopefully move up to most days when the weather is nice. That is a nice 24 km of bike riding each time! It will take slightly longer than going by bus, but there are showers at the lab and I will have more energy I'm sure. I know when I was going to the gym first thing in the morning in KS I had much more energy all the time. Unfortunately the gym isn't open until 9am here....not so convenient. I'm definitely not going to renew my membership since the hours make it not worth it.

In other news, I find myself struggling to be happy with my state in life all the time. I mean, I am really happy with where I am. I've got a Masters degree, two years to go on my PhD, and I'm getting paid to live in Europe. I've got a great family, friends, have everything I need; yet I still manage to find myself feeling like I'm missing something. Of all the things I have going for me, the ones that are most important to me as the end goals of my life are not even on the horizon. I want so badly to have a husband and family. I have faith that in time those things will come, when they are supposed to. I realize that if I had those things now I wouldn't be able to be doing my PhD in Switzerland, jetting around the world to workshops, schools, and meetings.

But at the same time, I see so many of my friends getting married, having kids, buying their first houses, and starting on their lives. And I just feel a bit left behind. I need some help in accepting that this is where I am supposed to be in life and being satisfied with it. I could really use a spiritual director, yet there isn't anyone here that I know of who offers it. Funny, when I had it in KS I didn't really take advantage of it. Mostly because I was being told things I didn't want to hear, even though I need to hear them. But now I would do whatever I could to have that guidance...

Hello again!

Wow, I've been gone a long time again. There hasn't been much progress in my losing weight project in any case. I am currently hovering around 185, and have been eating crap food and not active at all. Unless you count sitting on the train to and from Zürich everyday. But I don't.

HOWEVER, when you find yourself failing you just have to pick yourself up and start again. So that's what I'm doing. The weather is getting nice and I'm buying a bicycle from a friend, so I plan to start riding that. I'll work my way up to be able to ride from home to PSI, which is something like 10 or 12 km I think. On the plus side some of my friends do it so I'll have people pushing me to join them. I think I'm giving up my gym membership though. My schedule is too irregular for it to be worth the money. Instead I'll bike, and join the pool/ice skating rink. Which costs way less. And is more fun.

Also, I've gone back and forth several times on whether I should keep my hair shorter or grow it out longer. I've always wanted to try something shorter, like a chin length bob or something, that I could wear either straight or wavy, but I've always been afraid that being as heavy as I am it would just make me look heavier. And I don't want that at all. Plus haircuts are so expensive here and I am cheap. So, I've now decided that I will make that my reward. When I get to my goal weight of 150 I'll try out a new and shorter haircut. And if I don't like it, then who cares, cause I'll look all awesome and skinny! Until then, it will just keep growing on its own. I finally have a goal with a reward to reach for!